Tuesday 10th December 2019
- The winning festive joke: "Why does Donald Trump have his Christmas dinner on a plastic plate? He doesn't get on with china."
- TV channel Gold challenged the nation to come up with the best topical Christmas cracker jokes for the seventh year running
- Puns about Love Island, Parliament, The Crown and carbon emissions also got the country giggling
A joke about US President Donald Trump has been revealed as the winner of a national competition to come up with the best new modern Christmas cracker joke.
Other topical moments in 2019's news agenda have been used as material for the top 10 festive funnies, including Love Island, the war of the WAGs, TV series The Crown and gaffes from politicians including Jeremy Corbyn and David Cameron.
Now in its seventh year, the jokes are the winners of an annual festive competition run by TV channel Gold, which challenges the British public to come up with the best topical and modern Christmas cracker jokes, then voted for by the British public.
The Top 10 funniest new Christmas cracker jokes for 2019 are revealed as:
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Why does Donald Trump have his Christmas dinner on a plastic plate? He doesn't get on with china.
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Why is Parliament like ancient Bethlehem? It takes a miracle to find three wise men there.
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Christmas dinner is a lot like Brexit. Half the family were told they needed to make room for Turkey, so opted to leave Brussels.
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Why has Santa been banned from sooty chimneys? Carbon footprints.
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What is Coleen Rooney's favourite game to play over the festive period? Guess Who.
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Why doesn't Jeremy Corbyn ever visit Santa? Because he struggles in the poles.
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Why is Greta Thunberg boycotting parsnips and carrots at Christmas? Because she's a swede dish campaigner.
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What's the difference between Rudolph's nose and David Cameron's autobiography? Only one will be red at Christmas.
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What do you call a snowman who goes on Love Island? A melt.
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What is Olivia Colman's favourite part of a turkey? The Crown.
For the seventh year running, Gold, challenged the British public to tweet original festive gags for the competition. Entries were shortlisted by a panel of judges - led by comedy critic Bruce Dessau - and put to an anonymous public vote of 2,000 British adults to reveal the winning jokes. The top six jokes are included within bespoke boxes of Gold's Christmas crackers*, which were presented to this year's winners.
The annual joke competition celebrates Gold's seasonal TV scheduling, which includes classic festive episodes of Britain's best loved comedies such as The Vicar of Dibley, The Royle Family and Mrs Brown's Boys. UKTV Originals on Gold this year include Dial M For Middlesbrough, Lenny Henry's Race Through Comedy, The Cockfields and Trust Morecambe & Wise.
Comedy critic Bruce Dessau, who led the Gold judging panel, says:
Amongst the political turmoil that seems to have swamped our country this year, we can always rely on British humour to pull us through. With subjects ranging from Brexit and Love Island, to Greta Thunberg and Coleen Rooney, there are jokes here to tickle even the biggest of scrooges.
Gerald Casey, Gold channel director, says:
The festive period is a time for reflection on the year, and although we've certainly had our ups and downs, it's incredible to see that British wit remains as sharp as ever.
The author of the winning joke received £1,500 towards a holiday and a box of bespoke Gold Christmas Crackers, one of which will contain his own top gag.
All of the jokes voted on by the 2,000 British public are original content to the best of Gold's knowledge.
Gold is showing festive comedy favourites every night throughout December
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Notes for Editors:
Further information please contact:
Lily Rutherford - LR@taylorherring.com or Caitlin Marsh - caitlin.marsh@taylorherring.com
Taylor Herring PR / 0208 2065151
* All materials used in both the box and crackers, other than the cracker ribbons (which are made from recycled plastics), are fully recyclable. The ribbon can be reused as a tree decoration, Christmas card hangers, bookmarks, gift wrap or even festive wrist-wear.
Survey information
The Gold poll of 2,000 Brits was carried out to highlight Gold's festive programming which shows festive TV favourites every evening in the run up to Christmas.
The survey was carried out on behalf of Gold by 3Gem in November 2019. 2,000 British adults picked their top five favourite jokes from the shortlist judged by a panel of Gold judges.
All of the jokes voted on by the 2,000 British adults are original content to the best of Gold's knowledge. The top 20 jokes are as followed:
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Why does Donald Trump have his Christmas dinner on a plastic plate? He doesn't get on with china.
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Why is parliament like ancient Bethlehem? It takes a miracle to find three wise men there.
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Christmas dinner is a lot like Brexit. Half the family were told they needed to make room for Turkey, so opted to leave Brussels.
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Why has Santa been banned from sooty chimneys? Carbon footprints
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What is Coleen Rooney's favourite game to play over the festive period?...Guess Who
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Why doesn't Jeremy Corbyn ever visit Santa? Because he struggles in the poles.
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Why is Greta Thunberg boycotting parsnips and carrots at Christmas? Because she's a swede dish campaigner.
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What's the difference between Rudolph's nose and David Cameron's autobiography? Only one will be red at Christmas.
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What do you call a snowman who goes on Love Island?....a melt.
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What is Olivia Colman's favourite part of a turkey? The Crown.
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What do "The Sound of Music" at Christmas and Nigel Farage have in common? Only a small cult following want to see it, but it just keeps coming back repeating itself.
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What is a Brexiteers favourite festive movie? The Nightmare Before Christmas.
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Why couldn't Rebekah Vardy join Colleen Rooney's social media Nativity? Because there was no room at the Innstagram.
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How does Santa import toys into Ireland? Through the Irish Sack-stop.
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How can you tell if you are at a Brexit party this Christmas? Because everyone wants to leave.
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Why have Brussels sprouts been banned from London this Christmas? There's a new ultra low emissions zone.
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How can you make sure the right person comes down your chimney this Christmas? Get Coleen Rooney to block everyone else apart from Santa.
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What do vegetarian EU supporters want for Christmas? Lettuce romaine.
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What movie do the Three Wise Men watch on Christmas Day? A Star is Born.
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Why should you never stay for Christmas with Remainers? They get angry when you want to leave.
About Gold
Sky 110/810, Virgin 124, BT & TalkTalk 310 +1: Sky 210, Virgin 190, TalkTalk 314
On demand on Sky, Virgin, BT, Now TV and TalkTalk
Dedicated to celebrating the best of British comedy, Gold is the nation's favourite comedy channel.
Much-loved comedy series such as Only Fools and Horses, The Vicar of Dibley and The Royle Family sit alongside an array of successful UKTV Originals including David Jason: My Life on Screen, The Rebel, The Story of Only Fools and Horses, and Murder on the Blackpool Express, which stars a stunning cast including Johnny Vegas and Sian Gibson. The feature length UKTV Original attracted 1.72 million viewers in its first week in 2017, making it Gold's highest ever rating show.
The perfect tonic to make you laugh whatever the time of day, Gold shows universally funny content that everyone can enjoy.
Gold.uktv.co.uk / @goldtvchannel
About UKTV
UKTV has been at the forefront of branded television for over 25 years, entertaining the nation with programmes they love. Its leading brands - Dave, Gold, W, Drama, Alibi, Eden and Yesterday - span comedy, entertainment, natural history, factual and drama, and are delivered to audiences through UKTV Play, Freeview, Sky, Virgin Media, BT, TalkTalk, YouView, Freesat and Amazon Fire. The broadcaster is a significant investor in British creativity and is committed to working with new and established writers, directors and programme-makers.
UKTV is part of BBC Studios, the UK's most-awarded production company, a world-class distributor with international branded services, and a commercial subsidiary of the world's leading public service broadcaster, the BBC.